


Only so an Hour

by Buywood



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Other, Pangst, Spoilers, Voltron Season 7 Spoilers, angst tw, anxiety tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:40:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27527038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Buywood/pseuds/Buywood
Summary: It’s been three years, years that felt like weeks. Afraid of what’s changed and afraid of having to start over, Katie Holt (Pidge) comes to terms with knowing everything might be different and what that means for her.
Kudos: 5





	Only so an Hour

**Author's Note:**

> It’s a little scattered, apologies. Leave a kudos or comment if you enjoyed!

It’s been a long time since everything was normal. A long time since I’ve got to sit down, and eat, and talk, and laugh, and listen to my home that is my family. The family I haven’t seen in years I thought were weeks. The family that thinks I’m dead, that I died defending the universe, died defending people we never knew existed. People we never would’ve known existed if not for the accident that ripped my world apart. 

When Matt went missing, I thought I knew pain. I thought I knew what it was like to have everything taken from me. And I did, in a way. 

What I didn’t know was what it is like to be the thing taken away. To have my world taken away because people are gone is one thing, but to have my world taken away because I am no longer in it is another. 

I’ve never cared much about what people think of me, but I still can’t help but wonder what the universe thinks of Voltron since we vanished. And when we show up again, will they be glad we are there or will they be angry we were not? 

When I found a problem I couldn’t solve based on a fact I didn’t know, Matt would tell me to find a common ground; something that I did know that would help me understand what I didn’t. In this case, it’s an equation - you can’t take an original equation, change it, and expect it to be the same when you’re done. 

I guess what I’m saying is... I’m afraid of my reality right now. I’m afraid that people will hate us for something we couldn’t control, hate us for not being enough, hate us for leaving everyone behind to burn, even if we never meant to. 

What does my family think? What do the people I met once in my life that never knew me think?

I’m afraid everyone will label me a coward, that I’ll be back to first base after dashing to home. Afraid that nothing I’ve ever done will mean anything in the face of life because it doesn’t, really. It never has. 

Will it ever?

\----

So I talked to Shiro. He’s seemed a little tired lately, which makes sense because he’s been put into a new body and all that, but as always, he’s still there to support us when we need him to be. Shiro says that part of being a hero, of being a paladin, is doing things even when faced with fear. He says that sometimes, people aren’t afraid of losing their lives, but that they are afraid of change. Afraid that some variable in the complex equation that is life will be changed, and they will be forced to change as well.

I can’t say I disagree, but what does that mean for me?

\----

I’ve talked to Lance too, now. I think he’s just as scared as I am. Scared that his family will be gone, scared that he won’t feel like he’s home when we finally get to Earth, scared that things will be different from the way they were. 

Lance is braver than people give him credit for and cared more than anyone dares to believe. Somehow, someway, he’s pushing on in the face of the fear of change that is so much greater than the fear of death, and somehow he is winning. 

\----

It’s been a while, but I think I’ve figured it out. I’m scared not only of change, but of hoping that maybe things haven’t. Scared that I will have changed and nothing at home will, scared that I won’t belong in the place that has always been on the back of my mind. In the backs of all of our minds. 

But I’m not going to focus on that fear. I’m going to trust, I’m going to hope, that my family can take care of themselves. That the love that connects us is stronger than the fear that tries to drag us down in every minute of every day. 

And still, part of me doubts. Part of me wonders. And to that part of me, I say this: You will continue to wonder, because you will never know the answer to the questions you seek. If I cannot find a way, I will make one, and I will make it for the good of the entire universe, of all universes; not because that is what is demanded of me as a paladin of Voltron, but because I am choosing not to be afraid of what could be. 

\----

I’m not going to be afraid of what could be. I’m going to fight for what is and not long for what was. 

I am smart, and brave, and good. And I will do whatever it takes to defend my family, my home, and all that lies within every universe, every reality. 

I am the Paladin of the Green Lion of Voltron, and I can’t go back to what was, but I can defend what is.

And defend it I will.


End file.
